Batman has faced some ridiculous enemies and been put in some absurd situations over the course of the characters’ more than 80-year history in the comics. However, one plot from the late 1960s might be the silliest of them all. Batman’s enemies planned on taking the Caped Crusader down by trying to get him married.
While Batman has experienced both hit and miss moments in his more recent history, the silver age version of Batman was ripe for the silliness of comics of the era. There are plenty of WTF moments, including Batman singing Christmas Carols with police, Bat-Baby coming onto the scene, and Batman becoming the Zebra Man. But, when villains tried to stop Batman by forcing him into a marriage trap, things got perhaps the most ridiculous the comics ever been.
In Batman #214, by Frank Robbins, Irv Novick, and Joe Giella, Batman is busy participating in a televised beauty pageant - yes, you read that correctly. The big prize is a night on the town with “the most coveted male in Gotham, Batman.” Watching the pageant is a group of hardened criminals who go on a record-crime spree during the event. Seeing Batman preoccupied with the contestants, the criminals come up with the plan to find a wife for him - that way, he’d always be preoccupied leaving Gotham open for the taking.
Things get much stranger. One of the criminals, Cleo, visits an ad agency and says she represents W.E.B. - Women to End Bat-chelorhood. Basically, she creates an ad campaign to force Batman to marry. Wanted! (for marriage) signs are put up across Gotham. The women chase the batmobile around Gotham - as Cleo impresses Bruce with her rebellion (and lack of attention) towards him. The organization eventually tricks Batman into a setup, where Cleo (and an undercover Batgirl) stops the criminals after saying she didn’t agree to kill the bat. Batman reveals to Cleo he was thinking about their future before he learned the truth of her criminal background.
The issue ends with all of the pro-marriage Batman signs being thrown into the dumpster. Batman gives off the corniest line ever, saying “they realized that ‘you can lead the BATchelor to the altar - but you can’t make him say I do.’” It’s not a surprise the plan didn’t work. Batman’s not just going to marry someone and forget about his duties. The sheer ambitiousness of the criminals to think it would distract him from their crimes is certainly inspired. Getting Batman to tie the knot, isn’t the easiest task. In this case, the criminals learned the hard way.
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